View from the Window

Well it's been just over a week now and I just had to show the view. I just knew the iPad would be no use to me, I miss a proper keyboard and my friendly rodent. We have both been hit with 'dysentery' for almost all our first week but have strolled through Pompeii and climbed Vesuvius. As beautiful as it is here I have to say I prefer the North of the country.

I flirted with danger yesterday as I remonstrated with an excitable Italian harridan over having to pay almost £16 for two ice creams for merely sitting on an empty chair to eat them. I got nowhere of course and gave up in a rage before the local minders turned up, Naples is just up the road and I have seen the movie 'Camorra'.

We are slowly catching up with our 'to do' list now that we have recovered, so ciao for now.

Ciao

Right, I have been desperate to show you my cataphract unit, I spent almost the last two days on it and if I had not been in the PO today I would have had them finished with only the basing to go. As it is I only have the horses to do, and by that I mean a wee bit of the head, four legs and the tail, now that's the kind of horses I like to paint. However for a change I am holding off and not jumping the gun, you will see them when I get back, probably within a couple of days.

I have been looking at suitable basing for troops fighting in Roman Syria or Mesopotamia and have taken a leaf out of someone else's book and opted for Builders Sharp Sand. I headed to Wickes for a £1.89 bag expecting about 2 kilos and found out it got me 25 kilos, what with my arm I could not actually lift it and had to get help, I think some had spilled from this particular bag so I got it for £1.30! I experimented with it last night and it forms a lovely sandy, gritty base, which, along with some fish tank gravel and desert tufts will look splendid, and the bases will not require painting or shading, result! It looks exactly like the type of terrain at Duro Europos on the Euphrates before ISIS dug it all up.

So, my apologies for having no pictures at the moment, not enough time. Also maybe Blogger HQ will have something for me when I get back so I can put decent Blog links back in, I am not the only person having that particular problem.

OK people, Musings is going dark!

Technical Hitch

Sorry guys, I have lost my Blog List, I removed a blog and then the whole thing disappeared, when I tried to put the Gadget back it will not let me add a new blog, I hit 'add to list' and nada.

Hopefully normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

The End (ish)

I have finally finished the Saxon cavalry and they have taken their place in the Saxon boxes eagerly awaiting their first battle, or so I hope, as you know my boys have a tendency to let me down just when I need them the most. My extra slingers did arrive in the post yesterday as did my extra paints, excellent service once again from Gripping Beast and EModels, although I noticed there was no wee bag of sweets this time in the EModel box, or maybe I am thinking of another firm. But, sure as fate as soon as I put an order in I then find other stuff I should have added, like flesh wash, more X-19 and wire spears.

The last of the Saxons.

As I am at a loose end before the middle of the night trudge to Liverpool airport on Saturday I have started the cataphracts, I had them cleaned up, not that there was a lot of that, and based, because of the armour I have stuck the riders on the horses and painting them as one, something else I do not normally do.

Cataphracts ready for the tray.

Oh, and remember the wall, well it would seem that I am being fobbed off and the company has no intention of paying me for a repair. We are now in dangerous territory, I am teetering on the brink of putting it down to the vagaries of life and just paying up and getting the wall done, or getting so cheesed off with their arrogance that I will end up in the small claims court. Perhaps I will mellow with two weeks in the sun, but as I say, I am balanced on a knife edge at the moment between can't be bothered with the hassle or the principle.

Pure Dead Brilliant

I was trying to come up with a catchy title for last nights club meeting and settled on yet another Scottish saying as apt for the game Zombicide. We had decided to play Sails of Glory but Stuart has so much stuff he couldn't get to it and Zombicide was easier and closer. It was just as well, as initially there were to be three of us and we ended up with six. The club was fairly quiet game wise last night, maybe the summertime blues, as there was only one other game on and that was a Saga 'Crescent and Cross' Crusades themed battle.

I have never played Saga but I know it is a skirmish type game with small forces, however the way Cross and Crescent is played at the club it looks like a proper battle, it has obviously been tweaked but it looks good.

Cross and Crescent.

I just thought of a better title, "Staying Alive", I think it was the BeeGee's, but I will save that for a later date. In our post-apocalyptic world our intrepid bunch of survivors had heard noises which may be other survivors coming from a nearby shopping mall, we had therefore to investigate and rescue them. We started off well although armed in the main with a bunch of saucepans, as we tooled up and ventured out we picked up better killing equipment and quickly found one poor soul hiding in a sweetie shop (she died later). The rest of the mall was by this time beginning to fill up with the walking dead, we examined several other possible survivor sites only to find nothing, this left the last possible hiding place the same shop where a ton of zombies were trapped. We hit them with shotguns, SMG's, chainsaws and ran them over in cars but they just kept coming, we called a halt at this point, and I would give the Zombies the win. It turned out that we had been wasting our time as on turning over the token we found there had been no survivor in the shop, there had only been one and we had, albeit temporarily, saved her!

The zombie mob we would have to release to get to the (non) survivor.

I have probably said it before, but this is another very clever game and you have to make decisions at every turn, all of which can effect whether you survive or not.

I have now finished my Saxon cavalry and they are almost ready to be based, I used the paint on Army Painter Anti-shine suitably shaken with my home made shaker only to find it came out satin, I didn't shake the second coat as much and again it came out satin, pretty shiny satin on the black horses, so something is wrong. It's just as well I got that extra spray can of anti-shine as they will get a coat of that today. I have also put together my Roman cataphracts ready for priming, but I don't think I am going to do that, they are very clean and shiny and are covered almost completely, man and horse from head to toe in armour. Why prime them white then paint metal back on them, I will have to give certain areas a bit of undercoating but in the main they are getting an X-19 wash and off we go. I am really upsetting my normal routine these days and thinking outside the box, no primer and starting with the cavalry first!.

I have some more figures coming today, twelve Saxon slingers, these really will be the last figures for the Dark Age armies, I had planned more skirmishers but didn't count them as needed for completion its just they are not needed immediately. There's that OCD thing again, in the back of my mind there is a little seed starting to grow which tells me that I should bump up the cavalry of both armies to twelve man units from tens, just in case, now where's that bloody weed killer.

New Followers

I see I have two new followers, welcome. I had a slight suspicion that the counter wasn't working, which is why I am actually a follower of my own blog, I just wanted to test it was working, it's not my ego.

I will also take this opportunity to thank everyone who pops on to read whatever takes their fancy, your interest is very much appreciated as I approach the 10,000 milestone. I would also like to thank those who have linked me to their own terrific blogs, cheers.

Which brings me to this question, how do you find out who is the 10,000 hit, does anyone know?


Roman Army
Paints/Primer      £19.64
Basing sand         £1.30

New total         £246.82

War & Conquest Day

I set up some battles yesterday for my son and of course my own enjoyment as he wanted to 'get some in' before attending the tournament in November, he will be taking my Romano-British so by default I got the Early Saxons.

The official lists for the tournament are those used by the organisers, the likely lads of the Gravesend Wargames Club and as such Stewart's army was ready for him, the Saxons did not need to be from the Gravesend stable so I set about looking at them myself. Historically you are almost beat before you start so I took four sets of lists written by guys interested in the period and tried to get one working list from them, one list to rule them all, not bad eh? My deliberations will be the subject of a later post, but I did come up with what I think is a reasonable list for them.

The first battle was Spring deployment where each army sets up in the opposite corner of the table, not a lot of room, my objective was to capture the enemy general, something very difficult to do, Stewart had to destroy my two most valuable units, again not easy, you have to find them first then kill them. Stewart had not put his Warlord with any particular unit so I just decided to take out his left flank and then see what happened, I felt confident as he only had Pedyt and Milites units on that side of the table while I had marshalled my elite Gedriht and expensive Frankish mercenaries and a large warband of Geoguth with a Shaman in case of failed morale rolls. I did my usual and chased off his skirmishers and threw my boys in, OK, the Gedriht failed to make an impact, but the Franks were next in along with the Geoguth, Stewart had now moved his Warlord into the unit opposing the Gedriht, lovely thought I, this will all be over soon. The Franks and Geoguth also failed to make an impact and my Kings elite companions decided to leg it! This setback turned into a disaster as the Franks and the Warband ran in sympathy, I bravely tried to claw back some honour but my second in command could not get his men to turn against the Kings pursuers, as I had predicted it was all over, but not the way I intended it. No real tactical blunders in this game, the first turning point was when the Gedriht assault put some 10 kills on the Milites but they saved every one of them and then the subsequent morale rolls for my three units all failed in spectacular fashion.

The table awaits, bit of OCD showing there?

Initial deployment, the Saxons on the right.

A volley of javelins and then we go in boys!

The Gedriht are first in, the Franks on the hill and the Geoguth ready themselves.

The Second battle had Winter deployment, so the troops can set up in a box either to the left, right or centre of the battlefield, I got the right and Stewart was in the centre, this time I had to raid his rally point and bring back loot to my deployment area, Stewart had to take the centre of the table. Maybe we were tired but neither of us performed well in this battle. I forgot my own maxim of getting rid of the enemy skirmishers and found myself being shot to bits as I advanced, I had left some of my own skirmishers behind the lines instead of in front and suffered for it. Stewart however missed an opportunity, I did not move my infantry in the first turn and he should have legged it forward to grab the centre, but he didn't, he went into shieldwall instead. My plan on the right was to push my cavalry supported by skirmishers forward on his flank, take out his elite cavalry and then loot the camp, this was initially helped by Stewart not counter-charging me and taking my charge at the halt due to a misreading of the rules, I did offer to redo the combat but we had made quite a few mistakes already and rectified them so we left it as it was. Although my infantry were getting pummelled by slingshot and arrows Stewart found that to come out of shieldwall took a command test and because my line was so close there was a good chance that some of his units would fail, he therefore felt he was stuck. Eventually I beat the elite cavalry and it fled, however I was not quick enough to catch them and they rallied just before they left the table, which meant they would be back, in a perfect position to catch me if I carried on to the enemy camp, I was a tad disgruntled to say the least. Stewart now began to slowly bring his shieldwalls forward but it was too late, I got the initiative and called a halt to the game, a draw.

Second game deployment.

The lines advance, then stop.

 The cavalry continue to melee, my Franks on the right think of moving to the flank.

 One unit taking heavy punishment from shooting, empty spaces in the ranks.

 The Franks thinking about going in, but not actually doing it.

The Romano-British still holding at the end.

So there you have it, a learning curve for both of us really and due to tactical errors a fairly boring second battle, I was especially dumb with my skirmishers in that battle. No matter, my new mat and road have had their first outings and both I think you will agree look lovely, the mat is really nice, the dice do not rattle on it and it has a nice smooth surface for moving soldiers around, I found myself several times trying to move 'stones' from in front of the bases only to find they were printed on the mat.

I just have to say how disappointed I was in my elite Gedriht, the amount of times my elite units fail to bring home the goods is getting me down, in Dux Britanniarum I actually demoted them and promoted a line unit!

View from the Window

14th June and raining. We Scots have a saying, "the games a bogey" when something fails, well as far as summer 2015 goes the game is indeed a bogey. It is not the storm which was forecast, that may possibly be further south but it certainly looks like it will remain wet all day. Despite this a cyclist has just zoomed past the window.

Why do they do that, cyclists and joggers, they insist on carrying on with their fitness regimes even when a look out the window conveys to the normal brain, hey go back to bed you can run/cycle later when it is dry. I have had my window wipers on full and out of the murk I have seen a drenched, multi-coloured lycra fanatic, earphones in oblivious to the world, running along the side of the road taking a drink! I remember one old guy here who ran every day, his trainers were so big he gained at least four inches in height and as he 'ran' people were having to walk on the road to pass him.

View will be shutting down for a couple of weeks from next Sunday as I am off on holiday and I cannot see me doing a huge piece on the missus' iPad, but you never know, perhaps as I sit contemplating the island of Capri in the shiny distance sipping my morning coffee I may indeed just remind you of my good fortune, while you look out your window and mutter something about the rain, unless you live south of Manchester.

What's one of the first things you do on arriving at your hotel room? You immediately look around at the amenities, oh look they have soap and shampoo, and see, a kettle with tea, coffee and biscuits, and how thoughtful, an apple, real fruit, would you believe it, this is the life. Never mind the fact you have all this stuff at home, but in a hotel, living the dream. I do have to admit though, not for me roughing it in a camper van, building a tent or being polite to some surly old landlady, if I don't get a turn down service and a chocolate on my pillow of an evening, I am going somewhere where they will appreciate me. My most memorable stay to date was an idyllic island in the Indian Ocean where a guy was employed simply to go along the beach and offer to clean your sunglasses!

Capri above was the clue, we are going to Sorrento on the Bay of Naples, it is our 40th wedding anniversary trip, and the missus has always wanted to go there. We plan to do all the touristy things of course, visit Pompeii, Herculaneum and Vesuvius, I will also study the guide book this week as I lounge in the PO for other attractions, but at least half the time will be spent simply walking along the coast of the Tyrrhenian Sea, stopping now and again for a light lunch or some refreshment while watching life lazily go by. Bliss.

Not much this morning, I am on breakfast duty as No.2 son is here and of course I have to make up all that time the missus was playing Florence Nightingale to this non-complaining wounded soldier. As for the arm, well I am driving again and I get the stitches out tomorrow, hopefully by a nurse who cottons on a bit more quickly than the last one that it is my arm and not my leg she should be looking at. One last thought though, why do doctors have to stitch you up like they were working on Frankenstien's monster, did none of them take home economics at school, or whatever life skills are called these days.

Painting Armour

If you are a regular you will know that over the past year I have sold five medieval armies, and that is a lot of armour I have burnished since I began those troops way back in the '70's, and all of it has been painted the same way. No, I lie,my memory is coming back, my original stuff was merely block painted with Humbrol steel or something along that line, however shortly after that I did spend some thirty years painting the armoured bits black then dry brushing them with steel. I continued this with the new armies, the Romano-British and Early Saxons although at times I dry brushed a second time with silver, and on the rich guys bronze or brass then gold, but always I have started with a black undercoat on the armour. Well, no more and it is better late than never.

I have waxed lyrical about one of the Roman armies I saw at the last W&C tournament and the finish on the armour, it really was lovely so I got in touch with the owner and have decided to use his method. The really great thing for me with this is that I do not have to paint the armour black first, I have only ever used white or grey as an undercoat, so picking out the armour was always a bit of a chore. Now I simply paint the armour steel or silver, it really doesn't matter at this stage, then give it a coat of Tamiya Smoke X-19, I have no idea where the X-19 part comes from or why it should sound like a secret formula and if you tell anyone you will be killed. What you get is a better representation of armour than what I have been doing, because for the first time ever I actually checked and did not leave it to my failing memory. Once you have coated the figure with the X-19 and it has dried you can if you wish just go over it with a soft dry brushing of silver or gold for highlights.

 Real stuff above, the shine on plate armour of any kind always makes me wonder how well these guys actually looked after their stuff on a campaign, something no doubt we can only guess at.

 

The first figure was painted steel, the second silver and then both coated with formula X-19, the other two are Saxon riders taken from the tray where they are being worked on at the moment using my normal method. Obviously as a former Radio Operator I do not make a great photographer and although the riders seem very dark, once they are completed the armour does look fine and blends in better than the stark picture you see before you, you just have to look at past pictures of my armies to see this. The point I am labouring to make is that the two on the left bear more of a likeness to the real stuff above. The smoke gives a much more delicate shading and looks especially good on the helmets with their ridges etc. so this is the way forward for me now, I better get more of that X-19 fast before someone bans it for just having a cool name.

Star Wars a New Level

It was an easy journey to the club last night, I got picked up at the door and only required my new mat and my man bag, the latter is one of those toiletry bags you get at Christmas with after shave etc. and never use, but mine is not a poncy colour and holds my camera, assorted dice, measuring tape, laser, tokens, super glue and any other wargaming essentials needed to play a game.

I didn't actually need the mat, but it received a lot of attention and favourable oohs and aaah's. Stuart had brought his 6'x3' mat and as there was five of us, three never having played the game before, we went for the larger battlefield. I have mentioned before Stuart has everything and sure enough he not only turned up with the Armada starter set, but a bucket load of new squadrons, a new large ship and all the cards ensconced in neat protective sleeves, he had even built a card dispenser!

 Stuart's extra bits.

Simon and Stuart took the Imperials, two star destroyers (Victory and Gladiator classes) with attendant escorts of Tie squadrons while we rookies had two frigates (Nebulon and Assault MkII) and a corvette (Corellian) protected by X-Wing formations. I was opposite the large Victory type while my companions were up against the Gladiator, I signalled desperately at the beginning for help from the Corellian but the Imperials must have been jamming our comms. Despite being heavily outgunned my little "Star Rose" took on the giant while my X-wings also made for the large target, our opening salvoes hit the Victory hard and her engineering crews were run ragged repairing and adjusting her shields, torpedoes from my escorts also hit her.

 "Star Rose" beginning to take punishment while Ties intercept the X-Wings.

Sadly the Victory now began to find the range, my ship's shields disintegrated and the hull began to suffer, my X-Wings could not shake off the Tie's for another torpedo launch. With a resounding crunch both ships hit each other, metal squealed and buckled as I desperately tried to break away, it was no good, I was hit by a full broadside and the "Star Rose" shattered into a million pieces.

 The crash and end of my Rebel career.

At the other end of the galaxy the Gladiator had spent most of her time fending off numerous X-Wing squadrons while the unwieldy Rebel large ships tried to catch her, the Corellian had dropped out to repair shields but took so long that she was miles away when the "Rose" went up.

What was the game really like? It is a well polished product as you would expect from FFG, the ships are lovely and definitely evoke the movies, the small squadrons I think would benefit from a paint job, no matter how it is done, but they really need a splash of colour somewhere or at the very least an ink wash. The mechanics of the game are simple but elegant, there is a lot to remember and I found it a bit overwhelming at first even though we only played at beginners level and left out the specialist cards, after a few turns however it became much easier.

The game consists of only six turns and normally you choose objectives for the game, we didn't do that but I like the idea as opposed to a pointless dogfight and look forward to trying it. I have to admit I feel it is a bit pricey, however to offset this you do get a lot for your money, the ships, rulers, tokens, dice, cards etc. FFG certainly don't scrimp on the extras.

The game is not X-Wing with bigger ships, it can stand on its own two feet, I think if you like X-Wing but are not into the razzmatazz that goes with the tournament scene and merely want to lose yourself in the Star Wars world, then this is probably a better bet. It really is a very clever game.

Back in the Saddle

I saw the nurse last night and the sling has gone, as has the bandage, so things are back to normal for me from now on. I am back in the Post Office as a Tuesday is my day on the wheel, so my first customer will be through the door at 0905 hrs as regular as clockwork or as regular as sixteen years makes the visit, after that it is pot luck, which is fine as I have five new maps to draw.

My thoughts about the NHS were also back to normal after last nights visit, the nurse wasn't sure what my operation had entailed or why it had been done, "I just quickly scanned your notes" didn't leave me impressed. And she remarked that I could at least walk, yes, I have no idea where that had come from either considering I had a sling on my left arm. So what I got was a simple plaster to cover the cut and told to come back next week to get the stitches out, sorted.

I am going to leave the driving for another day or two, my arm still has a way to go to mend properly, so the guys have very kindly offered me a lift to the club tonight as they roar past, it is X-Wing again, or more properly the new X-Wing Armada as a couple of the blokes have it and want to try it out. Never fear though, I have one or maybe two War & Conquest games lined up for Saturday as my son wants to play some before the tournament in November, the new game mat will be in evidence as will the new roads.

I have finished the maps for the book on General Pulteney and they await the authors approval before being sent to the publisher, they are simple but concise maps in black and white, the one below shows the Battle of the Somme.

View from the Window

I have yet to look out and summer has arrived, this morning there is sunshine but that cold wind is still hovering about, no doubt if I went out the back and sat down behind the barricades then I would think it is lovely, until I stood up of course. D-Day yesterday and we still had to put the heating on to be comfortable in the living room. Anyway, a clear view today so fingers crossed.

My family left on Friday and are well ensconced back in Seoul by now, where they do get summers and air conditioning is a must, they have taken the usual staples back with them, Branston Fruity Sauce, Bisto and Lyon's Sports Mixture to name a few. I cannot talk because as they had a flying visit north of the border I have had the good fortune to avail myself once again of square sausage, haggis, scotch pies and plain bread, we also had a 'red cross' parcel delivered which contained more sausage, Ayrshire bacon and cold meats. You can take the boy out of Scotland etc.

 
The missus is having a well deserved rest today, as she has looked after everybody and me since the op, at some point if the sun stays out and it remains dry, which is possible, she is heading to the garden to 'potter'. This usually has the effect of making me feel guilty as I look out from the back window sipping wine/coffee/beer (delete as applicable), as she hacks her way through the jungle, taking care to fill up the green bins and not the grey one, remember when you simply piled it up and put a match to it? But this time I can play the injury card, clouds and silver linings spring to mind, "don't you over do it love, cup of tea?" he grins inwardly as he garners brownie points.

Have you noticed that no one uses 'excuse me' any more, I have seen this many times recently, especially in large shops or supermarkets where I am not point man and am usually waddling along a few feet behind the missus, the opposite of that religion actually, you know the one. People simply stand behind her and I presume beam their presence to her through thought waves as she inspects a purchase completely oblivious of the fact they want past. Then when this doesn't work they look around for others to agree or smile limply and perhaps add their thought waves to the exercise, cook the wife's brain for ignoring them maybe, holding them up from getting to the 100 for 1 deal on cream cakes. When the wife does eventually twig that someone wants past and moves accordingly, you don't need to be a psychic to pick up their thoughts then.

What's with the tattoos people? When I was in the navy they were officially looked on as 'self inflicted wounds' and you could be given punishment for getting one, no one to my knowledge ever did get punished, waking up the next morning after twenty pints of beer or several bottles of the local hooch and spying "I love Conchita/Jane/Bunny Wunny or these days Tom/Dick/Harry" may have been deemed punishment enough. I think Morecambe probably always had a tattoo parlour, but now we have one in the town down the road and another a few miles away, enterprising stuff and not cheap. One of my customers had an Alice Cooper album cover inked on his back and paid several hundred pounds for the privilege of never being able to see it unless it was photographed, why not just buy the album or am I missing the point, the point, geddit? He was old school though, not for him the pointless swirls and jaggy points over half his torso or the meaningful old language texts which no one understands, his tattoos were rooted in the past, "I luv Mum", or at least that was what it looked like, it could quite easily have been a lion or an eagle, or a jaguar.

The Price of Wargaming

I seem to be on the mend, I can do a bit of typing but have to wait until Monday night before I can maybe ditch the sling, I haven't tried painting yet but may do after Monday. Unlike most people I do not put my guys on pieces of wood or cork tops or whatever because I just never have, and although I tried it once and it is a great idea, I was just not comfortable with it, so I simply grip the base, and that might not be a good idea yet.

I have just been asked to do the maps for two more books, five for the book above, so it is back to the Eastern Front we go, which is apt as we still have our heating on here and it is June. There are eleven maps for the second book "Putty. From Tel-el-Kebir to Cambrai: The life and letters of Lieutenant General Sir William Pulteney 1861-1941" described by a subordinate as "the most completely ignorant general I served with during the war" so it gets off to an intriguing start.

I also stopped to wonder just how much of my money collecting an army consumes, obviously it is quite a bit between soldiers and all the rest of the paraphernalia which goes with the hobby so I have decided to keep a book on the Roman project. Now, I bought a whole pile of new paints for my Dark Age armies so they are not counted, only what I require for the Romans, also I have around six or seven decent brushes at the moment which will also not require replenishing for the time being, so far then we have this in good old British pounds:

Soldiers/transfers              162.00
Drills/pins                          9.49
Grass tufts                        14.60
Basing grit                          5.25
Bases                               15.10
Paint                                 3.44
Book                                 8.00
Anti-Shine Varnish             12.00
Super-Glue                         5.00 

Grand total                   £235.88

Still to come is the other half of the army, wire spears, more primer, more glue no doubt as you never get to the bottom of the damn tube, and more paint for basing plus sundry other bits and pieces not yet thought about.

It's Alive!

I have survived the knife and yes the picture is to elicit sympathy for my predicament. Contrary to expectations the whole experience was first class, the nursing and theatre staff were brilliant and attentive, the food and tea was nice and the anaesthetist and his assistant should be on the stage as a double act, very funny. I can't write much as the arm will take a few days to heal properly, I did try typing there and it was a mistake, I was hoping to paint but that might be out as well for now.

The Romans have landed and they are gorgeous, I only hope I can do them justice with the paint brush. I have also found a much cheaper grass tuft company Gamers Grass, Great Escape Games also stock them.

 Before.

 After.

One of the guys I met through W&C has started producing MDF buildings, especially WWII stuff for the Continent, any new venture deserves at least a look so you can find Colin's buildings at Charlie Foxtrot Models.

Always Look On The Bright Side.....

Real life has not been kind to me these past couple of weeks, everything rolls along fine on an even keel and then you realise you have been hit by a series of things which really kick you in the teeth.

Yesterday took the biscuit though. I was sitting in the PO trying to paint some horses and getting disturbed every so often by people wanting to post stuff or get some of their money out when I heard a crash outside. I went out to investigate as you don't hear many crashes in Warton of an afternoon, I was just in time to see a gentleman jump in his van cab and head off up the village, big van to do a u-turn in I thought, then I looked at my newly repaired wall, the one the bus hit a few months ago, well it had been hit again by the van man. After I had given rant to several expletives I told the one customer to leave, closed the shop and headed up the road in the rain, both of our cars were in use and I was the only one on the premises.

I had this wild thought that the guy was delivering something and that he had turned around as he realised he was on the wrong road, so he might be somewhere in the village, I searched the area where he had turned off the road and on the way back I saw him, parked down a lane with the 'I can park anywhere' lights blinking, "Gotcha!" For a minute the thought of me being rough handled by some hulking van man leapt to mind, but stuff it "Alea iacta est" as Caeser would have said, see, there is that Roman link again.

I cornered the felon in the back of the van, not a giant, but younger than me and rough looking, "You just hit my wall mate", without a blink he replied "glad you are here, I was just on my way round to report myself once I had made this delivery" the look on my face elicited cries of, honest mate, really, I wouldn't have slept, I'm a decent bloke etc. He then had the temerity to offer me £40 for my troubles, the wall had just been repaired at the cost of around £2,000, no way says I give me your name, company, phone number this is going all the way, OK £50 then! So after this I got back soaked to the skin but triumphant, I Googled his company and rang them up, he had at least given me proper details, I have now sent off pictures of the damage to said company and await their response, Kev, the driver, didn't come back round after his delivery to even check the damage or say sorry, but at least he can sleep better.

And then this morning I get up and there is water lying on the living room floorboards, there was torrential rain last night and high winds, so I have to get on the case and check the back door which opens directly in to the living room, the place was built in the 17th Century, as that's the only place it could have got in, and no doubt there is more under the bleedin' boards.

And it looks like I am at last off to the surgeon this morning.

Now, all together "Always look on the bright side of life, hoot de hoot de hoot de hooot de hooot..."