Artificial Intelligence

My wife is staying at a cottage in The Lakes for a few days with her friends, due to the miracle of technology however I keep getting hit with emails and pictures of their views, meals and general doings, and one phonecall so far, next time I want her to go further away.

I got a phonecall yesterday at 07:30am, and as the weather outside the house has been bad I thought perhaps it was news from the expedition or possibly the grandchildren had been kidnapped. No fear, my computer had taken upon itself, while switched off mind, to get in touch with someone on the sub-Continent and plead for help as Windows had malfunctioned, and the chap at the other end had immediately dropped everything and called me. Now, depending on what mood I am in I either put the phone down or on occasion have played along and pretended to do everything he tells me. When I eventually tell him that a message has come up saying the fellow on the phone is scamming me, he doesn't miss a beat, and simply informs me that is the virus he is trying to clear!

So, half-past seven in the morning, I was not in the mood to play along and informed the gentleman that I would put the computer somewhere in his anatomy and see if that improved the situation, he suddenly managed to speak excellent english and used a well known phrase to tell me where to go. So much for professionalism.