Tuesday, 28 August 2018

View From The Window

It's been a wee while and Life is part of the title here, there will no doubt be more wargaming coming along soon.

I am suffering particularly this morning, quick footsteps, a look up and I quickly duck back behind the screen and roll my eyes. This has to go to 'Bonnie Scotland,' which usually means it belongs to me for some reason and I have to expand with pride, then comes 'cheapest' and no the guy is not Scottish. I work my magic and then as I am putting the label on I get 'that's tracked and insured yeah?' No it is not, you didn't ask for that. His face says never mind it is expensive and handmade but I am too cheap to pay decent postage, and it won't get lost will it? I look at him blankly and smile.

Previous I had my dumb blonde(ish) in.
B: I need 50 euros.
G: I can't do that, I only have twenties.
B: I have sixty pounds.
(long wait)
B: Just give me fifty then.
G: I can't do that, I only have euros in twenties, I can give you sixty?
B: Then I'll have change, I don't want change.
G: I can't give you change, nowhere gives change for foreign currency.
She hands over sixty pounds, I give her sixty euros and change.
B: Is this change real money?
G: Yes, it's British.
B: I've got sixty euros now and only wanted fifty, I'll have to send sixty.
G: Blank look.
B: Is that tracked?
G: They have to sign for it but I cannot recommend sending cash.
B: It'll be all right, won't it?
G. I can't say.
B: Who would have thought Royal Mail didn't have somewhere in Italy?
G: AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Then I get 'Australia', fill in customs form please, what for, it's only photographs, what do they think it is (photographs probably when they read the customs form). I haven't got my specs, give it here, sign there, then he signs somewhere else, no there, where I am pointing. Don't I get proof of posting, you didn't ask for that, root about in the sack, retrieve photographs and give him proof of posting. my parting shot is "Won't do you any good, Aussies will say they didn't get it and Royal Mail will say they did" smiles inwardly as customer retreats shaking head.

I almost forgot, bloke comes in, I can see he has DVLA paperwork, I jump the gun and tell him we don't do cars here mate, he comes back with "it's not a car, it's a JCB!"

My missus is working at a real Post Office at the moment, helping out some people who wanted to go on holiday but couldn't get anyone to look after their office, not me, I did warn her, Warton Post Office is not work, despite having four bags of mail to go today, normally two, she fills around 20 every day. Doesn't get a break from 0830 - 1745 hrs, I should be dozing off in another hour, desperately trying to stay awake dreading the door bell going.

 Trouble with tech again, the other night I wanted to relax, I had just received my copies of Life's Too Short an hilarious comedy series starring Warwick Davis. I got my cold beer and accompanying crunchies, I always like something savoury when drinking a cold one, but it's hard nowadays as they take all the sugar and salt out of things, cut it down or use substitutes, I now have to put salt on my salted peanuts, leave them alone, that's why I like them! Anyway, I popped the DVD in and settled back, wouldn't work, no autoplay, they always autoplay, in out, in out, nope, I downloaded a DVD programme, thirty minutes lost. Put the DVD in again, reached for my beer, 'DO NOT RECOGNISE DVD', played the off on, in out game again, no use. Downloaded another programme, almost an hour gone now, blood pressure rising, missus shouting calm down. In goes the DVD, up it comes, thank god, on with the earphones, no sound, screams. Wait, headphones not plugged in, funny bone gives up, crunchies put away, beer back in fridge, off to bed.


  1. There I was, at one point in past thinking of running a Post Office. A most entertaining post, can’t decide if I missed out🙂

  2. Crumbs mate! Dealing with the public (or at least certain segments) is pure agony! Pity about the tech.

  3. I have missed these posts! Welcome back! You’ve also reminded me I have to go to the PO tomorrow.

    1. Crazy hasn’t gone away David, I am simply better at ignoring it :)

  4. I feel your pain...yet am glad to see the return of your supportive ranting. It reminds me that I am neither going mad, nor alone in my frustration at so called humanity.

    (There...that felt much better)