View From The Window: Special Edition

 "Let's go to Lancaster" says the missus as our house is again home to the builders, cue the rain. We can stop by Bathroom Supplies for a toilet roll holder, towel and soap holders, fairy snuff says I as I only have some details to put my latest, large, map project to bed. Enters what seems to be an empty shop, ten minutes later we form a search party for the owners and set off. Having at last succeeded in tracking someone down we swiftly wished we hadn't as the price for the three everyday items came to around £200. We left sharpish.

We decided on lunch before some shopping, we normally go to a basic but excellent chinese restaurant, it must be because all the Chinese students eat there, but instead walked a bit further to 'German Doner Kebab' as we had been intrigued by the name. I looked at the professionaly taken photographs of what was on order and chose the Doner Quesadilla, the missus had a Doner burger, yep, seems you can put anything between a roll. My meal turned up minus the lovely looking pot of salsa on the photograph, I made my way to the counter, you forgot my salsa says I, there is no salsa with the Quesadilla she says, yes there is, there it is on the photograph, no, that's just a photograph she insists, yes but one with a pot of salsa on it. Does the Doner Burger come without the burger because it is just a photograph I enquire but watch my caustic remark fly over her head and disappear behind the drinks machine. I rarely complain about food, I leave that to my sons and my wife, but this time I am going all the way to Glasgow, yes, that's where the head offices of 'German Doner Kebab' are!

What I got.

What was promised.

Then as we walked back to the city centre I ran the gauntlet of morons texting while expecting oncoming normal people to move aside, the sheer amount of these creatures leaves me without words, well I actually do have words but this is before 9 pm. I also do not move from my intended path.

Things were not improving, the wife bought one item in a store where only one of the six tills had a server at it, and who would be there at this till but a Gen Z'r texting while the assistant passed a large family's clothing allowance for the year through the zapper while her mother ran to and fro collecting even more clothing. I tried to get the missus to leave the growing queue on the basis they didn't really want money or there would be more people.

Coffee and a cake then home the Memsahib promised. We found a table, hunkered down and I waited to be served hand and foot while she went to get the drinks and eats, wait, on the opposite table sat a guy with a glass of water taking up a table of four seats piggy backing on the cafe's wifi while doing god knows what on his laptop for free. This annoyed me, I tried to appear interested in what the wife was saying but my eyes kept straying to the free loader next door, hoping someone would force him to buy something or move. That doesn't happen these days, I do remember when I had the paper shop and someone would blatently pick up a newspaper and leaf through it, I would quietly sneak up and whisper, this is not a library!

At last we headed home, I felt the urge for some beers, just bog standard British beer with an alcoholic kick as a change from zero as it might put a smile on my face, but mainly to sit and sup with some Walkers square crisps, cheese and onion while catching up on the latest episode of Shogun. The supermarket had every beer or lager from Paris to the Urals but no bog standard booze, the only square crisps they had were salt and vinegar, so back to zero alcohol for me. Then I tried to pay for it, the 'fast' checkout had a queue of 10 patiently and not so patiently waiting for the new assistant to speed up while, yes, only one of the six tills had someone in attendance.

A poll this afternoon in Lancaster.

So endeth the day.