The Molehill gets bigger.

After all my anguish I received my new Bolt Action Second Edition yesterday, was I happy, no I wasn't, there's a surprise, the postage on the box screamed 48hrs Delivery, hardly what I, being in the trade so to speak, would call express. I got on to Simon who had texted several hours earlier to inform me he had his, he is a city dweller so gets his post at a normal hour while we rural chappies have to wait until the sun is beginning to set before sighting Royal Mail. The upshot was of course he also had the 48hrs sticker and Simon had not paid the extra tenner for express.

In high dudgeon I fired off yet another email to Warlord, within an hour or so I had received a refund of five pounds. That's not the bloody point Warlord, do what it says on the tin, I have a sneaking suspicion no parcels were sent express and if you didn't complain the extra cash was trousered with not a second thought.

Having popped on to Facebook for a look at the BA group I was horrified to see an Errata sheet for, yes the book which has incorporated all the errata from the previous edition, and not only that a couple of them were important. I looked on Warlords site, I perused their forums, I asked questions and I got nada. I then spent twenty minutes putting in the corrections from the picture on Facebook into my new rulebook.

I know I am doing a bit of moaning about this but I have had quite a bit of trouble with Warlord products and yes their customer service is second to none, but it has to be as the rest of the outfit is dire. They are patting themselves on the back about the release, the first wave, of the rulebook, that is pure spin, if they had ordered up enough books there wouldn't have been a need for a 'second wave', it was never mentioned before.

If there is ever a Third Edition and I am sure there will be a few years down the road, I shall wait until the dust settles before I pick up a copy. I am happy enough with the changes they have brought to the rules and I do enjoy the game but unless I am stuck I will not buy another Warlord product, I can hear their shares plummet.

Did I tell you we are doing a large BA game on Saturday here in the PO, organised by Rob and based on Market Garden, I am looking forward to it, it's Warlord I am not keen on remember, not the game.

You've Never Seen Last Of The Mohicans?

Despite the digging up of Lancashire I safely managed to brave the now notorious rat run of Borwick Lane and make it to the club, managing to dodge at least three drivers from the school of Top Gear. Rob had offered a place in a Muskets and Tomahawks game so I dived in. The scenario was based on an event in the movie of the title, the dastardly attack on the British column as it left the fort and made its way under what it thought a flag of truce only to be set upon by the local savages.

There were six players and to add some spice to the game we all commanded one set of Rangers which were in the column and two groups of Indians who were attacking it. We got points for getting our guys to safety, we had to either head for the nearby river, march off the table or head for the waterfall, which also was off table at the opposite end from the column. To spice things up we also got points for the amount of civilians we saved, throughout the game we could throw a die and if successful an unspecified number of the nearest civilians would join our group, we could vie with each other to save these hapless creatures. If by mistake our own forces were the closest target to each other they would be forced open fire. Rob commanded the regular British forces.

 

 

My Rangers were near the end of the column and my Indians up near the front, it quickly became obvious the front of the column was going to take most of the heat, I myself decided to try and aim for the Colonel's party, the one with his two daughters. Daniel Day Lewis and his two mates were somewhere in the middle of the column.

The Indians attack.

Simon and Julian's Rangers both had the idea of cutting their way through to the waterfall which meant of course cutting their way through me, they looked like they were going to make it for a time but as I headed off the first group and threw caution to the wind and went in for hand to hand they both got cold feet. It didn't help that they now found out the path to the waterfall was actually further up the table than they had at first thought. As there was only two small groups of Indians opposing my Rangers I formed a firing line and opened up, I destroyed one group but couldn't manage the same with the other while the return fire dropped a couple of my men. As the game went along I gathered what looked like a collection of the local village idiots under my umbrella of safety while Julian especially managed to get the dolly birds, Simon also seemed to have a certain way with the ladies.

Discipline begins to break down.

Up near the head of the column Ryan was making spectacular gains and butchering all and sundry, one poor drummer boy, the only survivor of the colour party spent the game running around like a headless chicken, everywhere he turned he found Indians. I joined in the mayhem at the front end and a window of opportunity opened for my braves and they dashed at the Colonel, as you would expect he did not give ground and fought valiantly, his horse took a wound and went down trapping the man underneath, my boys despatched him and held up his still beating heart and whooped. I had pulled off a surprising coup.

The end for the brave Colonel.

The British regulars now pushed their way to the front and looked like merely sauntering off the table dragging bedraggled survivors in their wake, but suddenly hordes of Indians threw themselves at them and within a few moves their bodies littered the ground. My boys at the end of the line began to fear for their lives as chaos reigned, I moved them closer to the band of Indians to their front with the idea of giving them the bayonet then making my way by a fairly circuitous route to the waterfall. Daniel had managed to grab the Colonel's daughters and leg it to the river where he spectacularly dove in and swam to the other side to get the canoes and take them to safety.

This event caused the game to end, the table looked impressive as small groups of civilians and the remnants of Ranger companies and the odd regular dashed about here and there trying to save their lives while the Indians closed in in triumph. Rob ruled that my little band would have managed to overcome the Indians to their front and duly make their escape, I still had the idiots and one lady who had saw the error of her ways staying with Julian or Simon's dying troops and espying my good looks amongst the smoke and mayhem deserted to me. I had also killed the Colonel, this took me to one point ahead of Simon, a win!

The end for the column.

The game was a spectacular success and great fun, I was memorable once again for my bad die rolling while we all laughed at the mad drummer boy and our attempts to persuade civilians to come with us. Stuart had two Indian survivors who led extremely charmed lives and dealt out death throughout the game so were therefore given two really daft names which I cannot spell but sounded suitably Huronish. Ryan and Stuart's attacks on the front of the column surprised everyone and against the odds they destroyed the regulars so played a huge part in winning the game.

If you play Muskets and Tomahawks try this out, it was a superb game.

Oh, on a passing note, I emailed Warlord Games after the Postie once again disappointed me and told them I was less than chuffed that I had not had my BA V2 yet having paid express postage and pre-ordered etc. Guess what, I got a despatch email an hour and a half later. I suspect however it is not coming express and will be looking for recompense.

Mountain out of a Molehill

No one can have missed my conversion to Bolt Action over the past months and I jumped in just months before a new edition of the rules was announced, fair enough, although not a veteran by any means playing with the original confirmed to me at least that this was a WWII game I could enjoy. So with the opening of pre-orders I dove in.

At least a week ago the newsletter said pre-orders were shipping, I expected a landing on the carpet the next day, no, give them the benefit of the doubt, it will be here tomorrow, nope. Checked the site, Facebook and the forums, pre-orders had shipped! Well mine didn't.

Today several people in the UK are happily consuming the new rules as their Postie's delivered their dreams. Mine didn't. I have asked one of these few, these lucky few whether he paid for express delivery, if he didn't then Warlord you are for it and if I don't get it tomorrow I don't care how many emails and text's you are getting you will get another one.

The general release of the rules is on the 17th, which is Saturday, and if you don't get it then or have a store nearby then you are not seeing anything until mid-October because, guess what, they didn't order enough. The most awaited happening in the wargaming world for months, possibly the most popular WWII game on the planet and they cock it up.

Why do we wargamers generally accept such bad behaviour from our suppliers, is it because we have a special bond with them and can meet and talk to them at shows and on the whole they all seem like such good, decent blokes? Probably yes, because I know quite a few personally and they are all decent, good blokes, apart from one who shall remain nameless and bereft of George's cash as long as his bum points downwards. But that does not excuse some of the big boys especially, over the top prices, postage scams and bad quality control.

In the words of Bob the Builder, am I miffed, YES I AM!

Something good did happen today, I completed the Mongol Invasion maps, these have been a struggle, at first look they seem perfectly straightforward, but no they weren't, these will put the Anderson fortune back on track and prepare it for the hit during the winter with the new army for War and Conquest, still haven't decided.

I also completed a new WWI colour map for another project, pretty chuffed with this one. I am also putting together some 'looks' for the author of the Atlas of the American Revolutionary Wars, all easier then Genghis Khan's travels.

Oh, and any bets on October?

View From The WIndow

It is a lovely morning here, the sun is shining even if the birds have nothing to sing about, yesterday was nice as well, I even offered to help with an outside job which involved greenery, which to me is like green kryptonite to Superman, but I was spared as we had to hunt down a new tumble dryer. The road closure is starting to hurt and no one is happy, there has been a large increase in traffic from other surrounding villages, OK one, and an increase in frayed tempers and cursing outside the shop which for some reason always seems where the blockages are worst. It is at least entertaining. Even now at this early hour there is a jam outside.

Kieth Vaz has fallen, hoist by his own petard, who'd have thought? Well I did, I am just sorry it took so long, and if all the wailing dogsbodies who are heaping praise on him for his sterling work in the past thought about it they should have seen it coming as well. Vaz has been a crook and a slippery customer since he entered politics as one of the first Asian members of parliament, which of course is the only thing that saved his backside, until now. He should have been kicked out for his dodgy dealing not hiring rent boys, that's his business, his party should have booted him out, his constituents should have voted for someone else, that is how democracy is supposed to work, but it doesn't. We get councillors and MP's who sit year after disastrous year in the same jobs and they never get their comeuppance, but now and again, they go too far and I love it.

Gotcha!

We can't escape Brexit can we, we still have almost half the country wishing us all down the tubes just to be able to say "told you so." I couldn't believe a woman in Stoke on Trent where the unbiased BBC were looking for disaster stories, she looked respectable, had all her teeth and wasn't supping alcohol from a brown bag, she was also a Remainiac and dismissed the people of her home town as 'thick' and was then surprised when the stunned reporter questioned here appraisal of her fellow Stokians, "everbody knows they are thick" she waded in even further. I suspect she is now Googling removal firms in the area or better still beyond the city limits of thickness.

On the subject of thick people, some bunch of yahoo's in white coats have 'discovered', no doubt with tax payers money, that people who are jolly and lively in the morning are, yes, thick. That's me had it then, I quite often get up early, get on with stuff, whistle and hum away to myself as I greet the new dawn, usually with "STOP SINGING" or "SHUT THE DOOR" ringing in my ears. I will tell you who are thick, the people paying for this useless and spurious research.

Gooooooood Mornnnnnniiiiiing!

I see the writers of the nations favourite street are in the sights of the PC brigade, one of the characters in Coronation Street opined in the hair salon that her hair had 'more roots than Kunte Kinte', cue the unbridled hatred of the twittersphere as it went into meltdown. If you don't know, Roots was a television serial way back following a black family who were originally slaves from Africa. I thought it was a great line, funny, clever and witty, the kind of thing you could hear almost anywhere. I also thought 1984 was just a rubbish book. And yes once again the righteous got their grovelling apology instead of being told where to go.

Good for Chevron, a company I had the honour and good fortune to work for for over fifteen years, and which if it had not moved its operations from the North Sea to Khazakstan I would still be working for. Why am I praising Chevron, because they have come out with an unpalatable truth for once and that is that the world will be reliant on fossil fuels for decades to come. I have nothing against cleaning up the environment, it should be done, but don't tell me I will be running my household energy needs as they expand with all my gadgets from a windmill in 2020.

Another bunch of self righteous activists have turned up, it was bad enough when those old dears broke through fences and attacked the cockpits of jets or whatever causing large amounts of damage which again I had to pay to fix while they got off with a slap on the wrist. Now we have the UK branch of 'Black Lives Matter' causing mayhem in the capital and misery for thousands of travellers, although how stopping someone jetting off to the Costa Brava saves black lives is a tad beyond me. Wouldn't they be better to actually target the inner city crime which might lead to a black life being taken rather than blocking a runway and whining that someone else should take notice and do it. If I jumped a fence and lay down on a runway my feet wouldn't touch, I'd be doing porridge before the sun sank, any bets on this lot getting the same as the disruptive grannies above?

Sorry, wrong protest ,oops.

Am I also the only one in the country who wants Benefits cut to the bare minimum? Yes we should look after the vulnerable in society or those who have fallen on hard times through no fault of their own. But I know dozens of feckless, work-shy people or whole families who are receiving state welfare and sitting in houses watching Jeremy Kyle on 42" plasma screen televisions while their kids play on XBox 4's or are calling Nan on their mobiles, all while bothering me at the counter with "I'll take it all." Of course you will dear, but that last twenty quid note is actually mine so a thanks would be nice. I am of course talking about the other protestors this week blocking London or was it Tower bridge moaning that they are not getting enough, I'll have to open longer perhaps or give up my afternoon off in the future.

So there you go, the sun is still bright and we have been invited out for dinner, so a quiet day ahead.
Enjoy your Sunday.

Wrecked!

I think I got this idea from a picture on Facebook of some guys table, ever since I have been on the look out for an old model car which I could 'tart' up. I got this one at a junk stall in Lancaster, it cost the princely sum of £1.50, I have seen other period cars online for ten times that but of course it would have been madness to wreck them.

This particular model was a British delivery van, I sprayed it with some reddish brown primer, tore the tyre's off and then set too with watered down black paint. Once it looked suitably bad I dry brushed it with steel, I had some other bits and pieces laying around so added some of these to the base.

The idea is either to pop it beside a house as having been abandoned by the owner or as an objective marker, I have an idea if I get some more to possibly build up a hasty barricade with them.

I now really have reached the end of the line with my wargaming projects, and am struggling to come up with some ideas to while away a few hours of an evening. I could do some more terrain pieces i.e. gardens etc. to make the houses blend in on the battlefield a bit better rather than standing about fairly starkly.

I was hoping to have my Bolt Action V2.0 to read this weekend, however despite the newsletter informing me they were being shipped last Wednesday night and having paid express delivery I still do not have my copy, no one does seemingly, so I don't have a clue about the announcement.

I have a mate coming up from London in October for a weekends gaming, he is trying his best to kick start some Warhammer Ancient Battles and has offered to introduce me to WAB. I am very much a fan of War and Conquest and have regretted never getting into WAB when it was at its height, so I have ordered a copy of the rules from eBay, it is the least I can do as he is leaving the comfort of his soft Southern climes to venture to these Northern wilds to be defeated.

Entertainment

Apart from map work things are fairly quiet after my weekend away, I also couldn't make the club on Tuesday night, at the end of the day it was just as well as trying to work out which roads are open around here at the moment is a stab in the dark. Even the one outside the club was closed last time I went.

So I amused myself with entertainment. I have watched two movies recently which were very different, Imperium starred 'Harry Potter', poor Daniel is forever tagged with that moniker, and although it was a slow movie it was nevertheless watchable. It involved the white supremacists in the USA and that crowd are right up there with the Allah Akbar nutters. Oh, was Harry Potter good, yeah he was fine, but then I only see him as an actor and not the wizard as I have never watched or read any of it.

The other movie was right up my street, Bastille Day, starring the excellent Idris Elba, it was pure nasty good guy beats just as nasty bad guys, obviously set in Paris on the day in question it was pure dead brilliant from start to finish. Brain on the side table, nibbles and drink at hand and off you go. There was a bit of a stink for a moment there when Idris was mooted as the next James Bond, he is black you see, personally Sean Connery is James Bond for me, so I have no objections to Mr. Elba taking up the baton. Mind you as Daniel Craig has just been offered £150 million to do another two films he might have to wait awhile.

A lot of my TV series have finished for the time being so I went back to Black Sails which I had ditched after a couple of episodes, what an idiot I am, it is brilliant. OK, I have issues with the unnecessary and frankly ludicrous relationship between Lord So and So and Captain Flint, but I can forgive it. Not really bothered about the strong women leads either, but the main pirate characters are spot on, my personal favourite being Jack Rackham, and I love the threat of indiscriminate violence which hangs in the air. They have also spent a bit of money on the series as the battle for Treasure Island(?) was terrific to watch. I also went back to Peaky Blinders, and again I had made a mistake as it too is first class entertainment although whoever came up with the haircuts needs shooting.

Fleabag.

 I am heading for a famine again as the two series above are either finished or I have only two episodes to go with Peaky, Fleabag has also now finished which I found superb and actually laughed out loud on two occasions, I am smiling now at the thought of it. There are some new comedies turned up on the otherwise excruciating BBC3 which I will check out but I am not hopeful, although the ex in 'Our Ex-Wife' is very good. I do enjoy watching the boys from Kurupt FM in 'People Who Do Nothing', especially self obsessed MC Grindah and one of the greatest and underrated comedy characters ever, Chabuddy G, this guy should have his own show.

I have Ripper Street in my back pocket once Peaky is done, I have never watched it but after so many series it must be good, but then again My Family and Terry and June lasted forever.

Relaxing Night

I was away at the weekend and am now back in the old routine, well almost, I am not in the PO until tomorrow and with the missus out I caught up on some telly and completed my two new Bolt Action purchases. The first is of course my Sdkfz 7/1, I added various items of stowage and a discarded Zeltbahn to the frame, I am looking forward to trying out this bad boy.

The Churchill although typically in drab Allied colours is nonetheless a beast of a tank, both my other 'tanks' have camo etc. so I am leaving this one bereft of such stuff, again most photos show them, like the Panthers, without a lot of clutter on them. I do still have to paint the commander, but he will have to wait until tomorrow, then both will get a spray of varnish and hey presto, ready for action.

Not long to go now for Bolt Action 2.0, maybe a week, I have seen a video showing some of the changes and they look like improvements to me, so I am looking forward to having it dropped through the letterbox.

 As I said above I was away at the weekend for a Clan gathering, if you can call fifteen adults and three weans a gathering, we were in a large rambling house on the edge of Coniston Water where Donald Campbell attempted to beat his own world speed record and tragically died in the process. I won't bore you with all the family stuff, suffice it to say it was a great three days of banter, laughter, singing, drinking and eating.

Did I look like that in the '70's?

Spare a Shekel sir, half a shekel, quarter...........

Well my wallet has been hit yet again and my patience tested to the limit. First off my little wound markers arrived with a second class stamp on the box, in high dudgeon and despite knowing what the reply would be I felt I had to register a complaint as the firm in question had taken £5 for postage and spent as I deduced earlier, 75p.

I was put through to the boss or one of them and of course was told that the other £4.25 had gone to pay the guy who had picked the markers, put them in a little box and stuck my address on them and then left them somewhere convenient to be posted. And it really was a second class stamp as it took ten days to get them to me. Now at that rate I wouldn't mind a picking job, if he picks a paltry four items an hour that's a good number, if he ups his quota that's a lot of oodle. Sure, so much for the box, maybe a quid or £1.50 for stuffing it, but £5.00 is bang out of order. Especially as there are other wargame firms out there which are way more realistic in their postage rates. I am going to pay more attention in future with these.

Next hit was a young girl mucking about in the PO who caught the wires of my drawing tablet and PC in her foot and made for the door at high speed. I just managed to stop the tablet hitting the deck but the PC went down with a clang, little, eh, um, girl. When I had restored order I found the computer was goosed and me with dozens of maps to draw, off to the computer doctor who just happens to live a longbow shot away. He turned it around in 24 hours but it cost me for a new hard drive and labour, £90!

I just do not have enough time at the moment, the author of the Mongol maps has still not finished, I have two other large projects waiting, I have to reset the basically 'new' computer and I want to paint my Churchill and Quad Flak and I am away for the weekend!

Bolt Action at the club, British vs Germans 750 points. I seem to be getting stuck with my Germans, Simon has Russians and the other night he asked to try the British, the consequences of this of course is that the British are lagging slightly behind on new equipment as I dream up nasty surprises for the Soviets (quadruple autocannon for instance). We went for 750 to try and complete a game during club hours and it seems to work, at least until we learn more of the rules and then get faster turns. I took three squads, a mortar, two MMG's and my trusty Marder, I much prefer mobile AT guns. Simon surprised me and didn't take a tank, he did take an excellent Humber MkIV armoured car though along with two squads of infantry, a sniper, 6pdr AT gun, MMG and an artillery observer all veteran to my regulars. I had made three objective markers so we went for Point Defence, I was the defender.

I put down my gallant defenders but left one squad and the Marder off table in reserve, I used to wonder why bother, but in fact it is a good ploy, a bit like playing chicken as to what exactly is off table and where will it arrive, Simon kept his armoured car off table. The game started off fairly predictably as the British carefully advanced taking advantage of cover, I sat and waited, the AT gun came up at a smart pace but there was actually no targets for it and although it did take the odd shot at a house nearby which had an MMG team in it, overall it was pretty ineffective. My MMG in the house opened up and thereby became the target for the artillery, this came in a turn later and although mainly covering my boys in dust it wiped out my mortar team, bad start, I was relying on that to move the sniper or target the AT gun. Luckily for me after that Simon had no luck at all with the artillery as it failed to turn up before we finished due to being delayed.

Only the right hand objective was being threatened so I brought on my reserve squad to cover it and it got up close and personal with the British heading for it, I lost the firefight and the squad. I did have success with the Marder though, I kept it out of sight of the 6pdr and lined up for a shot on the Humber as it supported the attack on the objective, bang, one dead armoured car. Like Simon's artillery this was its only success, after that it could not hit a barn door and I was counting on it killing off the Brits who had captured the objective. It was obvious at the end of turn five that the game was going to be a draw, I could not get the objective back or even contest it, although on second thoughts I could have drove the Marder at it, but that's not my style.

The game went well apart from both of us losing die control after all the lucky first shots, my blue dice are being officially retired now, I have that nagging feeling about them and like the yellow dice I now wont touch it won't go away. There were quite a few new subtleties turn up in this game which you have to watch out for, loading HE or AT in your anti-tank gun for one and having to remember you cannot fire and move a heavy weapon due to the set up time, that snookered me a couple of times.

My new wound markers for heavy weapon and smaller teams.

Elsewhere there was an historical Kings of War game, it looked good as there was hundreds of troops on the table but as they were wall to wall I didn't see much chance for tactics or manouvre, on another table a large Cross and Crescent game in 10mm was in sway and of course our resident boardgamers although I didn't get to see what they were playing. I hope to have the Sdkfz 7/1 up and running for the next post, I only have the crew left to do.

Kings of War

View From The Window

Horrible morning, leaden sky and it has been raining, as promised by the Met Office would you believe, did you know they are going to be sacked by the BBC and some private Dutch outfit is taking over, perhaps the Dutch get better weather. How can the country's top meteorological department with all its resources be bumped out by presumably a business a fraction of its size? Warton is holding its breath for the big road closure after the Bank Holiday, the end of the world as we know it has been predicted along with all sorts of carnage on Borwick Lane, we will have our own daily version of 'Death Race 2000.' On a more serious note it will affect us and a lot of people in the village and surrounding area, the traffic on Main Street is sure to rise and there will be no bus services until the work in Millhead is complete, roll on November.

As you know I had my two granddaughters here last week, all in all it was an enjoyable time during which I mainly hid in the Post Office while my wife worked herself to a frazzle keeping them amused every day, don't get me wrong, they spent quite a bit of time in the large open space doing cartwheels, drawing and running about. I left a fairly quite house on Tuesday afternoon and when I came back I heard what sounded like a lot of fun upstairs, on getting in the house I quickly realised it was not fun, it was uncontrolled wailing, crying and sobbing, an awful racket. I entered the room with a 'Ho, ho, ho', now this is not to be confused with a Christmas 'Ho, ho, ho', this is a Glaswegian call which on hearing if you do not desist in whatever you are doing to annoy people precedes a lot of trouble coming your way. I read the riot act of course, playing the bad cop to my wife's good cop, but only after I had promised the earth to both of them did they calm down. They were back to their normal selves the next morning as if nothing had happened, kids eh?

I had to take Eve back home on Thursday which meant my afternoon was shot, but that was not to be the worst. I got into the PO to find that having the girls and trying to get a map project finished had affected my memory and I had forgotten to do the monthly balance. I rang up the hell line thinking they would tell me to carry on and do it next month only to be told I had to do it before I served anyone that morning. I therefore had to drop everything and turn out the safe and start counting, it also meant I had to send anyone who turned up away after looking in my own 'Big Book of Excuses' and informing them the 'system was down' and my hands were tied, come back in an hour.

I then checked my emails to find that Adobe was charging me £200 to renew my Illustrator licence, doesn't time pass quickly, I need it but this hit the Anderson coffers pretty badly and I knew my wargaming fund was going to take a long time to recover. To make matters worse as I checked to see if this was right I noticed I had paid my Premier Inn invoice for the wargame weekend in November out of 'our' account instead of out of 'mine', another £200 smackers gone. Thursday was not improving.

I took Eve home and dropped her at my sons work, treating her as promised on the Tuesday night to a trip in the Batmobile but not with the roof down, too cold. On the return journey I was coming down an empty lane just outside the village when I espied a teenager almost in the middle of the road texting whoever on her phone, she did not see me and I had to veer into the opposite lane to get around her! A mobile phone is no use if you are under a car, although on second thoughts you would find a picture of the chassis on Facebook.

With sanctuary in sight I turned on to Main Street, I could see another car just getting to the only lay-by in the road and thought he will pull over and let me through as the left hand side of the road in the village is permanently out of action due to parked cars. No, he didn't, he drove past the layby by a cars length and stopped, signalling me to to reverse back to Borwick Lane, needless to say that was not going to happen, I pointed at the lay-by behind him and shook my head, that'll sort him. He eventually moved backwards slightly, other cars started to move into the lay-by but leaving room for him to get in, but no, he retired only a few feet. I then started down the road only to have to stop between him and a skip, right next to him in the driving seat, windows were wound down and I asked why had he not stopped in the lay-by, it was normal practice in the village, he was there first says he. More 'banter' was exchanged and then he suddenly told me to 'go back to Scotland and build the wall', where's the Old Bill when you need them, I was a victim of hate crime, my sense of worth had been violated, where can I get compensation, perhaps I could recoup that £400. The upshot was he eventually moved a couple of feet and I got away, but now there was a line of cars in front of him and behind him, he had completely blocked the main street. I chuckled into the rear mirror as I sped away, his face burned into my memory and hoping with all my heart that one day he needs something posted (evil laugh).

While I was driving Eve home I put the radio on for her, I caught a DJ asking someone who had phoned in what was his most awesome moment of 2016 so far, what would yours be if forced to partake in this nonsense. Well Kevin's was seeing Mary Berry (the baker) in B&Q buying a can of wasp repellent, he waxed lyrical about how his life had suddenly changed and what an exciting moment it had been for him, Mary Berry, off the telly, would you Adam and Eve it, and yes, he had immediatly texted all his family and friends so that they too could enjoy the moment. Maybe texting girl above had been replying to Kevin's red letter text.

Me? Yes I have had brushes with celebrities, I saw Shakin' Stevens treated like royalty at Abedeen airport, I barged past Stephen Hendry and his adoring fans in Menzies as I went for the latest edition of Miniature Wargames, I went to a concert organised for us by Prince Charles and heard Harry Secombe shout, sorry, sing. I also once got Mark McManus' autograph for my kids, he was Taggart in the cop show, we were in Walter McGowan's pub (he was World Flyweight Champion). In the same pub one night, I tried to tell some famous sports reporter that he had left his lights on in the car park but no one would let me through as they were in a rapt trance listening to his stories, so I went back to the corner and no doubt Archie McPherson, for it was he, got a taxi home. Only John Cumming, a man I knew well and who played for Hearts of Midlothian and Scotland and who would never have called himself a celebrity, and indeed missed the whole horrible genre, would have gotten my respect and in fact did. Mary Berry!

Archie.......Taxi!

Will the country ever get a credible opposition to the Conservatives, Jezza is involved in a spate about train seats, I do not have a staff at my beck and call but I can book a train seat myself to ensure I get one, can't the Labour leader? And Owen Smith who wants his job continues to show he will not be elected Labour leader in a month of Sundays, he is going to block Brexit, Owen, that ship has sailed mate. Ever since Tony Blair and his lies politicians of any persuasion have shown themselves to be utterly unfit to rule the country, god help us.

Happiness and Disappointment

Well I got my latest parcel from Warlord Games yesterday afternoon, the dice thankfully were indeed the same as I had got before, sand, although that is a bit of a stretch if you ask me but there you go, mountain out of a molehill. The British dice I shall repaint as the writing is a bit dull on them, the sand dice thankfully are fine, better than the last lot which I did repaint.

Sand

Sand

I managed to finish the amendments to the Mongol Invasion maps and just could not resist building the Sdkfz 7/1, no problems at all with this and I used my extensive skills to put a magnet into the halftrack base and one on the gun, so it can swivel no problem and stay in place during movement, quite chuffed with that. The vehicle will be from the 2nd Panzer Divisions I Panzer Battalion Staff Company, namely the 3 Fliegerabwherzug.

I had to do the shop this morning and as I was not expecting many customers on a beautiful Sunny morning I took the Churchill down and began that build as well. No sooner had I started than I got customers, in fact I got more this morning than I have had in the last three Saturdays. No matter, I completed the tank just after lunch. I have chosen a Mk IV from the half dozen variants and due to the decals which come with it I have gone for the 31st Tank Brigade which supported the 15th Scottish Division for a time in Normandy. I would have liked the Scots Guards but the decals only cover the first two regiments of the 31st and the Guards not the third.

The Postie also brought me a large cylinder containing maps for a three volume book on the Iran-Iraq war which was a bit of a shock as I had not expected anything like this as I have also been commissioned to do about 30 maps on the Battle of Arras in 1917.

What he didn't bring me was some wound markers from 4Ground which were posted ten days ago according to their records. Knowing the PO as I do I suspect they are not coming, however I will hold off until I reach two weeks overdue and get back on to 4Ground, what really hurts is that I paid £5 for postage for an item which I deduce should have been 75p at the cheapest or 96p at the most. Also I know that 4Ground are very good at despatching orders and they normally take no more than a few days.

They came on in the same old style........

God I have had a bad day and will now try and forget it while I type my report, you will hear about it on Sunday, this is when I could do with a drink as my nerves are frazzled.

Anyway, I had just about made my mind up to give the club another miss when I recieved a text from Andy inviting me to take part in a Black Powder Napoleonic game, what the hell I thought, get me out of the house, so off I trotted.

Andy and Rob enjoy the Black Powder rule sets and it does work well with Rob's Sudan scenarios, however I thought it was a poor ECW set and wouldn't touch it for ACW but then I wouldn't touch anything but Johnny Reb for that anyway, it would be interesting to see how it worked with Naps. As much as I am an admirer of the Emperor and made friends at a safe distance with the giant tortoise which knew him on St. Helena I have never really got into Napoleonic wargaming, and when I have tried it I usually retired with a sore head, really. It does look splendid though.

So on Tuesday night I found myself in charge of the British right flank with a light cavalry brigade and an infantry brigade made up of mainly Scots battalions, the centre and left were under the command of two Germans, father and son who were visiting, Daniel has been to the club in the past but not his father Hermann, who unfortunately did not speak a lot of English and was not a miniatures player. I knew right away if disaster struck Hermann was the fall guy.

The idea was that each side had to control two crossroads, one in a village and one in the open, I was opposite the one in the open, but so as I found out was the French guard units and next to them their feared heavy cavalry. As the game started I threw my light cavalry forward aggressively and mounted a nearby hill all the better to give me an advantage in the coming melees.

The brigade will advance.....

 There was what passed for snorts of derision at my attempt to take on the heavies with my lights, but what did I know, well I did know it was going to be a possible massacre for my boys, but it was either take the fight to the Frenchies or let them bring it to me. My infantry opened up into lines and moved on the crossroads and awaited the Guard, who were coming on in the same old style as Wellington was wont to say. Hermann moved on the village in a huge column and held the southern edge while the French held the north and each side plugged away at each other causing mainly nose bleeds and ear ache.

Into ze houzes.

  My cavalry now charged downhill at the Monsieurs and predictably got beat, but not by enough, they did move back but they were still there, a bit of a shock for Andy. One of  my cavalry units could not get in on the fight so instead forced an infantry battalion to go into square thus stopping them joining the advance on my Jocks, they then haired off in pursuit of some horse artillery, again stopping this from supporting the French left, huzzah lads. At the end of the game I had lost two cavalry units but so had the French!

Get into them!

  I was all set up and willing the French infantry to try and close in their attack columns, but this is where the rules let Andy down, he failed twice in a row to advance his men by failing his command roll, the bad luck continued with his shooting and his shots winged harmlessly over the heads of my stalwart troops. Why on earth would a division advancing on the enemy with hardly a casualty suddenly just stop.

Oh, they'll stand Wellington.

I held one crossroads, Herman ensured the other was in contention and Daniel and Rob had fought each other to a standstill on our left, we won and Hermann was off the hook.

A good game and I didn't come away with a headache neither did I come away any more convinced Black Powder was for me, but I appreciated the game and the work Andy and Rob put in. If I can find a route to Lancaster next week with all the road and lane closures I think it is Bolt Action.

I Can'st Takes No More

The quote comes from Popeye, a character I could never quite take to, I think it was his taste in women which put me off, Olive Oil, come on, even after ten weeks at sea it would have to be a no, and I've done that, but thankfully the first land fall after that was Mombasa, but that's another story.

I have had almost a week with no wargaming project on the tray or table and it has got to me, so much so that I decided I needed a quadruple flak halftrack (Sdkfz 7/1) for my Germans and a Churchill tank for the British in case that Panther ever shows up in my version of Normandy. I also got two new sets of order dice, my armies have now grown to such an extent that if I get them all on the table I will need more than the original twelve. I had to actually ring Warlord as I could not find the same colour of dice I use for my Germans, I should have got plain grey or black but I didn't. Have you ever tried to explain a colour over the phone, it is not easy and although the guy on the phone tried his best it was me who eventually gave up. I did what I should have done in the beginning and looked up my original invoice, they were sand(!), I am still not sure what will arrive in the post will be the same colour as there is no way that can be described as sand.

How cool is that?

 I also checked with Aventine as to when the Byzantines will be ready, Keith himself is waiting for them and he let me know his upcoming schedule, I should guess after winter so I might have to go with something else in the meantime. I also noticed that after the Byzantines they are planning 3rd Century Romans, he really does want more money off me. When I recruited the Twelfth I really wanted 3rd C Romans not 2nd C, don't get me wrong, the Thunderbolts are my favourite army but I had wanted something different and was not convinced by the A&A figures, despite being done by the same sculptor and the fact I have seen some beautifully painted examples. I just think his work for Aventine is far better.

I managed to get to the club this week, but as my two granddaughters are here and I am still churning my way through a backlog of maps I will leave the report for now.

I see I have been tagged by Phil Robinson in his 'News from the Front' blog, I have noticed Phil's name on several forums and admired his painting style, I especially like his Dark Age stuff so do pop along and have a look, it is also a very good wargamers blog. I hope that is not as daft as it sounds. In a coincidence his backdrop is a WWI map of La Boisselle a place I have drawn several maps of for a recent Helion publication.

View From The Window

The latest ever View and one I had intended to skip. The weather is actually very nice if windy with threatening grey clouds on the horizon. The village is very quiet with all of us dreading the closing of the road, because not only does it mean the usual rat run of Borwick Lane will be ten times worse it comes at the same time as closures on the main M6 and Lancaster routes due to the completion of the bypass. So, allied with the driving practices of the locals any journey for a while is going to be fraught with misery, we were thinking of hunkering down for the period and even getting food delivered.

The lateness of the Sunday outburst is due to a clan gathering we had in Lanark yesterday, although I am an Anderson the other and much larger side of the family are Quinn's and someone had the bright idea of reviving a practice my Gran had decades ago of having a family picnic. Instead of a field at Loch Lomond we had a hall in Lanark and around 60 people turned up, the furthest popping in from Australia. My oldest son and I had a 'road trip' to the event and stayed overnight on a couple of couches at my sisters, not a great idea but when needs must etc. There was to be beer and wine but no spirits however suspicions were aroused as several adults were a little too obsessive about their bottles of what looked like watered down coca cola and I saw one being utterly surprised as the bottle of water he picked up tasted completely different from what he was expecting. Refreshing but not the way he thought.

Wheelbarrow race, I'm in the middle doing the shoving.

The meet was a resounding success and I renewed acquaintances and met a great number of people I knew existed but had never met and never would have if the 'picnic' had not been organised. There has been cries to turn it into an annual event  and I do hope the enthusiasm will last. I also have an Anderson do in a couple of weeks in the Lake District so there definitely will not be a View that weekend, again it is about family and ensuring we do not lose touch. I'm looking forward to it, especially as quite a few of us think we are comedians.

Man up, that's my advice to all these sportsmen who now cry floods if they win or lose, we know the ladies have always been a bit partial to a tear or two but it has now become de rigueur for the blokes as well. It is everywhere, bake a decent cup cake and it's hugs and tears all round, if you get booted out of a singing contest or make a slip in that paso doble and Craig Revel Over The Top tells the truth about your performance. Cut it out.

Ed Balls is joining Strictly, we've had Vince Cable shuffling his feet and George Galloway pretending to be a cat, could you imagine Pitt the Elder, Disreali, Winston Churchill or Anthony Eden lowering themselves to such public ridicule? Politicians are entertaining enough in normal life without descending to such depths. Perhaps Ed Balls doesn't get that no matter how good a dancer he turns out he is still a rubbish politician, and that's what really counts.

Advert watching again, this time it is an attractive woman coming home from a hard day at the office, pouring a glass of wine, kicking her shoes off, dressing in a teddy and then ......... hugging another woman in similar lingerie. Did I just see that! It was for a dating app. Most gay women I have seen, and granted, apart from the media I have not seen many, they do not look like those two, they look like they would give a Stormtrooper squad a rough time while the men would have a hard time seeing off a Brownie pack.

Reality bites.

Moslem extremist Mr Choudray has after twenty years of fomenting hate against this country had his collar felt, great news, lock im up M'lud. But wait, how does a certified lawyer with no disabilities manage to draw benefits for twenty years without anyone asking why?

Jezza is in trouble again, someone ambushed him during an interview and forced him to admit he didn't know his Ant from his Dec, the baying mob rounded on him for being out of touch. I myself am not sure which one of the talentless whining Geordies is which but I can assure you I am not out of touch, and neither is Jezza, OK, he might be living in the 60's but you get the gist. My son popped Celebrity Big Brother on for ten minutes the other night while we tried to find a comfortable spot on my sisters couches and I didn't recognise any of them.


Almost done, you remember in the last View I asked about the Olympic Committee and whether it was squeaky clean, well a couple of days later Europe's top Committee member and one of his mates was arrested for illegal ticket sales. You heard it here first.