Sunday, 8 November 2015

View From The WIndow

Windy, wet and damp, I can see the far ridges at the moment but I suspect that will end with the rain showers which are promised, outside the Post Office is a mess as my living room walls are in two big bags at the front and we are the talk of the village at the moment. People are desperate to know what we are doing, one rumour is that the house is subsiding. What is happening is that the living room walls have had the old plaster removed back to the stones and it will be replaced by lime plaster which will allow said walls to 'breath' and prevent damp. The only problem with this is that each coat takes a while to dry so we cannot use the living room for maybe two to three weeks, also I cannot get a painter until January, but I will be only too happy to sit with the new plaster until then.

I know I am a bit late but I cannot let Halloween or 'Trick or Treat' as it has turned into pass without comment, I hate it! I have never liked it nor have I ever went 'guising' myself, bothering people of an evening to get an apple or a couple of sweets, of course things have changed and you can buy all the 'candy' in handy bags and supermarkets are full of horror things to adorn your front door, bushes, roof and pathways. In my old house we were never bothered because there were no children in the neighbourhood, it was a main road, but after moving and having a sweetie shop the doorbell would never cease between the hours of five and eight, despite again not a great many kids in the vicinity. Kids taller than me with a black bin bag over their heads would hold their hands out for cash, the other hand probably held a Smith and Wesson .45, stuff the sweeties mate. Despite the danger of wounding they were told politely to 'get off my land'. Now before you judge me as a miserable old Scotsman, I do not mind any kid who is local, lives within a couple of houses, meets my height requirements (see chart on gate) and visits between 6 - 7 pm and is overcome with joy getting a couple of chews. But as for feeling besieged in my own house, lights off and running silent for one night of the year that's one night too many.

What is BBC3 actually for or who is it for, because it is not for the average white British male, the week before last it went looking for the racist heart of Britain and went to great lengths to prove the theory but actually failed quite miserably. This week it turned its attention on the Sexists among us, yes, you guessed it they were all white, British and male. Some woman stood in the middle of the street and shouted obscene drivel at people having their lunch sitting quietly in the sun, what the intention was of this exercise was beyond me. It did show some perfect examples of sexists which even I thought were prats but I have to say if you are a woman and you fall for the kind of verbal diarrhoea these pretentious idiots spouted then you only have yourself to blame. I have been around a long time, I was also in the Navy as you know and have been in very 'blokey' environments with all kinds of people and I have never heard one person talk the same nonsense this lady took as everyday sexist banter practised by us all. BBC3 also brings us all this new, with it comedy which is not funny, comedians who no one has ever heard of, journalists from the school of YouTube and all at my expense, it is time this TV licence went the way of the Dodo.

Bonfire night has also been and gone, another old tradition sinking almost without trace, I know you have heard it before but when I was young every family bought their box of fireworks, went out into the garden on the 5th November and lit up, the next day we went around searching for the used rocket sticks. I cannot remember if there was an age limit back then but I never seemed to have a problem getting packets of bangers, amazing how much fun you got out of a loud bang. Now with each passing year the whizzes and bangs are few and far between on the 5th, and if you want to enjoy a bonfire you have to go to an organised one, stay up to 30 meters away and wear goggles, anti-flash protection and never have a smile on your coupon while waving your insurance card. Even these are dying off due to the pressures of policing and insuring against the usual idiot who tries to throw him/herself into the flames every year, no one has ever done that, well they might once they get over the fence and through the bouncers.

Early November and already you would think Christmas is just around the corner, is it Denmark where it is against the law to advertise Christmas before December 1, or is that just wishful thinking on my part that some corner of the civilised world is sane.

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