Every summer we become a focal point as passers-by stop to admire our hollyhocks, and they were even the talk of the pub last Wednesday when I mentioned we might take them out. If I had actually sold my Wars of the Roses figures for magic beans rather than filthy lucre that corner of the front garden is exactly where I would throw them as anything seems to do well in there.
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No new neighbours turned up so a bit of a disappointment there, but the cottage is now empty and has been let. My neighbour Gary has just been to the door in crutches with his left foot bandaged to inform me he is away recuperating and could I keep an eye on the house, presumably in case it decides to move to the next village. He was knocked off his motorbike whilst on his way to take his test. That will be the test where you have to drive up the centre of the road using the white lines as a guide, where you can ignore red lights and mount the pavement or pass other vehicles on either side as long as you do it at speed. Also where you have to show you can negotiate your bike between stationary cars, again either side, so that you can get to the front of the queue and roar off when the orange light comes on. If you manage all these tricky manoeuvres then by my experience you and your bike will be welcome in this part of Lancashire.
Another 'hip' charity has gone and is now in the firing line, who would have thought that huge amounts of public money would have disappeared without trace or that sexual abuse charges would come out of the woodwork when the doors closed. Why is it the great and the good who reign over us or look down their noses at Joe Public always seem to be the easiest to con, they fall over themselves throwing both their own and our money at all sorts of nonsense without ever hearing warning bells. What happened to the three million given to Camilla Batmanthingy and Kids Company just weeks ago, didn't anyone think to get a receipt? From the look of the woman she ate it.
I have always believed that if you really want to steal money, don't turn up in a stripy jumper with a bag marked 'SWAG'. Instead, talk posh and wear a suit and tie and bingo, who says crime doesn't pay, or perhaps half a dozen multi coloured curtains.
I have my granddaughter coming tomorrow for a week and have been told I have to sit through the latest film involving something called Minions and I also have to enter a MacDonalds for chicken nugget things. Granny and Papa will have to up the ante this time as last summer seemingly we were boring!