Sunday, 2 October 2016

View From The WIndow

Beautiful morning, even a slight heat haze over in the distance, but it is cold, the heating is now being turned on and even the wood burner has been on once this autumn, so that is now pretty much it for summer another bummer with only the odd few days or week here and there. We simply don't get the old summers I remember as a child with June to August being great, and before you think I am getting soft and becoming an eco-warrior, that's just the way the cookie crumbles. The road closure continues to raise temperatures of course with the whole organisation having turned to dust and all roads now seeming to be free for alls instead of the regulated up and down lanes. I now add five minutes to my escape route by going to the next village and using a little used lane where I have had no problems at all and my blood pressure remains normal.

On the environment here is couple which tickled me, the state of South Australia which prides itself on renewable energy had the lights turned off because there was no sun or wind, fancy that. And a 'ship of fools' who went to sail the Northwest Passage to prove the ice cap was melting at a horrendous rate found themselves stuck, yes, in the ice which was not supposed to be there. You couldn't make it up.

As you know I was at my sons in Chorleywood last weekend and it was lovely down there, what I don't understand is why Chorleywood which is probably about the size of Carnforth has a flourishing high street with a small supermarket, local butcher, cafes, clothes shops, pubs etc. while Carnforth is simply awash with chemists, bookmakers and charity shops, oh and a Greggs of course, it's bad news when you can't even get Starbucks to turn up. And I noticed Chorleywood is not alone, is it the North/South thing, do they just have more money?

As I trundled along to London on the local train it was packed, I moved into the 'Quiet Zone' and asked the bag which had not paid for a seat to move while I sat down, this had been ensconced on the seat alongside its owner while half a dozen people stood not three feet away. Right across from me as the train hurtled along was a guy on his laptop going about his business but also talking to his office on the phone, wasn't this a quiet zone? The people around him smiled and we all looked at each other with that 'tsk, what a prat it's a quiet zone' look, I began to get annoyed. He finished his call but no sooner had he done so than he dialled again, OK, I took a quick shufty of the situation, he was about a couple of inches smaller than me, he was younger, but he looked like a typical office wallah, he did have an Asian look about him, martial arts perhaps, but he was not bald, had no tattoos and was not wearing trackie bottoms, I could take him if things got nasty. The call finished but once again he started on another, before you could say Jack Robinson, I rapped him on the leg, pointed to the quiet icon and in my best Glaswegian said "Ho, this is a quiet zone pal". Flustered he apologized and left the zone, mumbling to his office to give him a minute as there was an upset guy on the train. Two minutes later, guess who's phone went off, mine!

What about the guy who went around the Isle of Man TT course on one wheel, eh, yeah, what about it, why?

Have you ever heard of 'safe spaces' where seemingly if you get annoyed, mainly at university, but no doubt they are at or coming to a workplace near you, you can go to escape and gather your precious thoughts after hearing something you disagree with. This kind of thinking has now been extended by some archaeological lecturer who has taken it upon himself to warn his students who are studying the effects of modern war that if they find it upsetting then they can leave the lecture and simply copy the notes of someone with more grit who stays. You can also get a ten percent bump up in your mark if you might not be the brightest bulb in the pack but can point to some medical or perhaps mental condition which made you not as bright as you might think you are, and as acne is now a disability then you are on a winner, who would be brave enough to gainsay you?

As you know on my BBC watch I look for them to describe ne'er do wells in layman's terms not beat about the bush to hide the fact they are not white males, but it has come to my notice that President Obama will not call Islamist Terrorists such because as far as he is concerned they are in fact simply murderers etc. who are using Islam as a cover. We don't stand a chance, where did I put that white flag?

Now I don't know about you but believing that man walked the earth with his pet dinosaur at his side ala Fred Flintstone instead of evolving over millions of years when Dino had disappeared is a tad illogical to me as is believing the whole deal was made over a six day week, if I am wrong I'll take it on the chin come the day. But allowing a school to run an alternative Satanist after school club in order to allow some nuts their alternative view is simply insane. I might need two white flags.

Can I also just say I enjoyed my night on the town in the Smoke last Friday with my son and brother, I think I could live in a city and I always enjoy visiting one, especially if it is abroad, they are always bright, busy and alive with huge choices for the traveller in food and drink and entertainment. As we walked around the place was buzzing, and it looked like we would not be able to get to the bar for a drink, imagine my surprise when after we had barged through the crowds at the doors the inside was fairly empty, how cool was that, no fight to get a beer and even in some a place to sit. It didn't hit me until later that all the smokers were outside and the fact it was quite a balmy night helped as well, result. When we stopped off for something to eat the young waitress, with shrapnel in her nose and ears, covered in head to toe in tattoos, including one of her mother or grandmother on her upper arm, which for some reason my brother I think said was a great likeness(?), asked us if we had any food allergies, I wittily replied we were all too old to have any of those, geddit?


  1. I've always found a growly Glasgow accent works well when emphasising a point (except possibly in Edinburgh...)

    1. Especially in a cinema if you want people to be quiet.

  2. Apologies for the poor Summer - I gather from the Today programme that it's because I leave my TV on standby.

  3. Hell in a hand basket leaps to mind.