Sunday, 9 October 2016

View From The Window

It's cold and it's grey, a very sharp morning and the forecast is rain at some point, it looked like we were getting it yesterday evening but it didn't turn up. There can't be any stock car racing on as it is nice and quiet and nothing stirs, not even the wind, the village is settling in for the winter.

I forgot to tell you, I now have my 'Fibre to the House' broadband, but I am still unhappy, there's a surprise. A week later than planned the doorbell went at 0845 hrs, it was the BT engineer, a young blonde girl with a scowl on her face(?), I professed surprise and wondered aloud where I could collect my £200 for sighting her, that went over her head. I pointed out where the cable had to enter my study, at the window about 10ft from the ground, immediately she said that was dodgy, it looks unsafe! I pointed out that she had ladders, but the ground looked suspect she replied, I told her it was limestone mostly under the soil and went and jumped up and down on it, I also pointed out that there was a three foot shale path coming back from the wall but of course this would mean the ladder would be at a sharp angle, I'll hold the bloody thing says I. She reluctantly started her work while I headed for the Post Office.

She also told me she was cheesed off as she worked out of Wolverhampton or some place and was only here as BT did not have enough men available for the amount of work, I quickly put her straight on how cheesed off I was having dealt with the lying, incompetent sods now for almost two months. About an hour or so later, not having fell to her death or horrible disfigurement from the ladder, she said the job was done and I would have my broadband in an hour. Oh how I laughed, an hour! Sure enough it took about three days, a weekend and the usual amount of wasted time on the phone to really get it. She had also put the large white router where it was easiest for her without breaking sweat instead of asking me, it now sits right under a window in plain sight, her indoors is not pleased, a movement of 12" would have put it out of sight. So the saga is not over, we have to check we are not being billed for two lines and want another engineer, preferably one with a smile on his face, to come and move the router, watch this space.

Do you remember David Cameron's pledge to cut quango's in the UK, to get rid of these publicly funded, jobs for the boys committees and busybodies but instead set up more of them, well I do. I sent a letter to BT and copied it to Ofcom (making communications work for everyone), the telecommunications watchdog or whatever who is supposed to stand up for the little man. Well they don't, they simply monitor complaints but can do nothing about them, they did refer me to ....... BT. BT replied that my complaint was still ongoing, this is going to last longer than reruns of Columbo. Why are the people at Ofcom being paid money to do nothing while giving the impression they are important and the scourge of big business, just like all the rest of them, like those fools who keep wagging their finger at energy companies about their price hikes etc.

The United Utilities woman came to the office the other day and asked me what I thought of the road closure so far, big mistake. I pointed out that it didn't matter what I thought as it would change nothing and I could only hope it is all over sooner than planned, I also pointed out the one way system was not working. She told me there was no one way system as emergency vehicles had to have access to the village by the fastest route, well that's rubbish says I, you had it on a map and emergency vehicles can use any road or means to get anywhere as fast as they can, I have seen them run red lights and use the opposite lane, due to the look on her face this came as a surprise to her. I have also found out that the chaos is being caused by Health and Safety because they require three metres (9.8 feet for those who are not from Europe) of room between the workers and traffic, otherwise there could have been traffic management as not the whole road is being dug up.

I saw my first crash the other day from the window, due to the congestion some young guy backed his van into a car which had pulled in to let others through, the wife's car has also had a scrape somewhere, the rear wheel arch had white paint on it, not a big deal thankfully, just glad it was not the Batmobile, it pays to park miles away from the front door of the supermarket, the defence rests.

Last week we had the wheelie guy on the motorbike, this week it is the guy who has run 431 odd marathons each day for the past, eh, 431 days. Surely that can not be good for you, he now has to wind down for the next year by still running but cutting down the distance until his body gets back to normal, doesn't he have a job?

Angelina and Brad have split, now come on, who didn't see that coming. I like Pitt but don't like her, never have, too modern, too on message, too touchy feely, too correct. My wife informs me the main reason is that she lets the kids do what they want while he wants them to be treated like kids, proper meal times, bed times and basically do what they are told. Kudos to Mr. Pitt.

UK Politics is the gift which just keeps giving. Nigel is back, he must be sick of this himself but of course the media will not listen to that bit, I do wonder though what UKIP will do next, it did what it said on the tin and unless it changes its name and direction it should perhaps call it a day. And what about the Labour and Conservative conferences and speeches, after decades of mucking about they have both had a revelation and know exactly what the people of the UK need and want, how could you not vote for them. What was that, they have both been in government before and done nothing, no, I won't have that, I heard them on the telly.

Panorama almost scared the life out of me last week, it was on diabetes type 2, which I have, due in the main to my blood disorder I might add, not eating tons and tons of sweets although I have a penchant for liquorice and midget gems, as did my dad. My mind was set at rest somewhat because every subject they homed in on, apart from one, was hugely overweight and despite all the warnings and having everything to live for and stop their self destructive diets, would not. So it was the NHS to the rescue with £5,000 operations to cut their stomachs down, that was £10,000 which could have gone on people who couldn't help themselves to become well again.

The sun is up, maybe we will have a nice day after all.

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