Real life has not been kind to me these past couple of weeks, everything rolls along fine on an even keel and then you realise you have been hit by a series of things which really kick you in the teeth.
Yesterday took the biscuit though. I was sitting in the PO trying to paint some horses and getting disturbed every so often by people wanting to post stuff or get some of their money out when I heard a crash outside. I went out to investigate as you don't hear many crashes in Warton of an afternoon, I was just in time to see a gentleman jump in his van cab and head off up the village, big van to do a u-turn in I thought, then I looked at my newly repaired wall, the one the bus hit a few months ago, well it had been hit again by the van man. After I had given rant to several expletives I told the one customer to leave, closed the shop and headed up the road in the rain, both of our cars were in use and I was the only one on the premises.
I had this wild thought that the guy was delivering something and that he had turned around as he realised he was on the wrong road, so he might be somewhere in the village, I searched the area where he had turned off the road and on the way back I saw him, parked down a lane with the 'I can park anywhere' lights blinking, "Gotcha!" For a minute the thought of me being rough handled by some hulking van man leapt to mind, but stuff it "Alea iacta est" as Caeser would have said, see, there is that Roman link again.
I cornered the felon in the back of the van, not a giant, but younger than me and rough looking, "You just hit my wall mate", without a blink he replied "glad you are here, I was just on my way round to report myself once I had made this delivery" the look on my face elicited cries of, honest mate, really, I wouldn't have slept, I'm a decent bloke etc. He then had the temerity to offer me £40 for my troubles, the wall had just been repaired at the cost of around £2,000, no way says I give me your name, company, phone number this is going all the way, OK £50 then! So after this I got back soaked to the skin but triumphant, I Googled his company and rang them up, he had at least given me proper details, I have now sent off pictures of the damage to said company and await their response, Kev, the driver, didn't come back round after his delivery to even check the damage or say sorry, but at least he can sleep better.
And then this morning I get up and there is water lying on the living room floorboards, there was torrential rain last night and high winds, so I have to get on the case and check the back door which opens directly in to the living room, the place was built in the 17th Century, as that's the only place it could have got in, and no doubt there is more under the bleedin' boards.
And it looks like I am at last off to the surgeon this morning.
Now, all together "Always look on the bright side of life, hoot de hoot de hoot de hooot de hooot..."